There have been several Decision Portrait Series pieces that were emotionally difficult for me to stitch. Many decisions depicted in this series are heart wrenching. Some, I don't understand on a personal level but I've tried to remain nonjudgmental, faithful to the "model", true to the concept behind the series.
This piece, however, has been the most difficult. I'm fairly sure that I didn't succeed in one respect. I can't help myself. I attached a little "value judgment".... in the form of a "name tag".
I wanted a HOMELESS person...someone who CHOSE to live without the responsibilities of an ordinary, tax-paying citizen. I didn't want an individual who was in such circumstances because of forces beyond his or her control. I didn't want someone who'd lost a house due to the economy or gambling problems or a broken marriage or some other hardship. I didn't want someone whose mental facilities weren't capable of another lifestyle. I wanted someone who CHOSE to live this way, HOMELESS. That's exactly who I found.
We met at Gallery 80808/Vista Studio.... in my studio located there. At the time, there was an art exhibition in the gallery. The people mounting the show were giving a portion of any proceeds to this man's "homeless ministry". There was a box for donations too. This man is the "pastor" of the "homeless ministry". He is tall, clean, articulate, educated through high school, and in good health. He has a cell phone. He has a mailbox at a rental storage facility. These are paid for through the donations to the "ministry".
He wanted to know if I was selling my portraits...would he get a percentage? He wanted to know if I'd pay him to pose. He wanted to know if there was an admission to the upcoming exhibition. He was very, very interested in money. He talked about all the things he does as the "pastor" of his "ministry".... like going to the hospital with other homeless men who need medical attention, raising awareness in the community about the plight of the homeless, and witnessing for God. He never mentioned getting a homeless person into a home.
I asked why he was homeless. He chose this lifestyle...exactly what I wanted for this piece. We talked about the Decision Portrait Series concept, about my respect for the decisions made by showing a straightforward depiction of a real individual who had made each decision.... about the title and words for this piece in particular.
Then, it was back to talking about money. How would my piece benefit his "ministry" and him? I said it would raise awareness (one of the things he stressed as his "job"). I said people would come face-to-face with a homeless person, with him, as a work of art. I also said that I would rather NOT create the piece if it meant any sort of financial relationship was part of the deal. I thanked him for his conversation and returned to my work.... stitching on another portrait.
When it became obvious that there wasn't going to be any money being exchanged and that I was no longer interested, he relented.... with a condition. I had to include the word "pastor". So.... I had him sign a model's release and snapped his photo.
In this Decision Portrait Series piece, there isn't a real "pastor" and there isn't a real "ministry"... but there is a real HOMELESS MAN. I honored my promise. The word "pastor" is on the nametag, right under the true words "self proclaimed". Of course, by adding this truth I also added my personal value judgment. I didn't know how else to stitch the portrait.... to keep my promise but also to tell the truth. I didn't contribute to his "ministry" either.