Monday, October 15, 2012

Overcoming Childhood Sexual Abuse

Overcoming Childhood Sexual Abuse. Stitched words: I put my stepfather in prison for sexually abusing me for four years; I was only 14 when I pressed charges; I'll never forget; Now I'm stronger. Xylene photo transfer on tea-stained muslin.   25" x 19", unframed; 31" x 25", framed.  Click on image to enlarge.

Collaborating with my subjects for this series is very important and extremely rewarding. There is no possibility that I can fully appreciate the life altering significance of some of the personal decisions made. Yet, through heart-felt correspondence, I have been able to stitch and share stories. Kristine's decision was amazing. Sexually abused for four years by her stepfather, she pressed charges at the tender age of fourteen. He went to prison for just eighteen months. Such injustice! I was appalled. This piece could have easily turned into a statement about sexual abuse and/or the court's hideous notion of an adequate sentence after conviction. Collaborating with Kristine, however, kept the portrait properly focused.

This series is about DECISIONS. Kristine and I wrote and talked by telephone. As a result, the piece focuses on Kristine, her powerful strength of character, and her difficult decision. At one point, Kristine reminded me that her choice was right for her.... but might not be the right choice for someone else who had experience sexual abuse. This series isn't about "right" and "wrong".... it is about making a decision! It is about the person who made an important decision. Hence, Kristine, at age 40, holds one of her favorite photos of herself at age 12, figure skating. Kristine pressed charges, went to court, and was forced to tell every detail of abuse to a panel of twelve judges, all men. Even if her mother had supported her decision and been with her during court proceedings and trials, Kristine was required to talk to this panel alone. Her choice turned her already dysfunctional family upside down. It also allowed her to start a road to recovery.... a road that she has been successfully walking for twenty-six years.  (2009)

In one of our email messages, Kristine wrote that she'd been very, very upset (understandably so!) by the mere eighteen months her stepfather spent in prison. She said that she needed to be angry.... for her recovery. Later, she realized that his time in prison wasn't nearly as important as 1) her need to put him there...even if for only a day and 2) the fact that he became a "marked man".... a convicted sex offender.

Kristine has gone on to marriage and motherhood.... an adoption of an older teenage daughter! There are many wonderful things about Kristine.  Yet, the thing I'd most like to share is the fact that Kristine, always in love with the full rainbow of colors, is an extremely talented fiber artist whose business, Curious Creek Fibers (, is as thriving as the threads are beautiful.

One more important thing: Here's a link to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network:

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